Sunday, I did my longest run yet, 3 miles! It was a great run.
Today, I had a "what's the point?" day and didn't get up and run. What's the point of dragging myself out of bed? What's the point of doing all this training?
Here are some of the thoughts I've been struggling with lately:
- If anything, I've gained weight as I've been training and that feels horrible. It could be because I feel "entitled" to eat more because I'm exercising (which is ridiculous because I'm probably burning less than 400 calories per run), or it could be that I've felt hungrier because of the additional exercise. Either way, it really sucks to feel like I'm doing something so great for myself but feeling worse about my body.
- We're looking to take a trip over the Christmas holiday and that is, of course, the time in which my two crucial long runs are (18 miles). I don't want to get to that point and have it all ruined by a trip. There's a decent chance that I can fit in some running on the trip, but 18 miles may not be reasonable. On the flip side, I don't want to NOT take a trip just because I'm training.
- The "thrill" of training/blogging may be wearing off.
The thing is, when I get out there and run, as I did on Sunday, it's amazing and I have so much clarity. I'm just struggling with motivation and feeling like "why bother?"
Just a little early morning vent.
3 miles AWESOME! Don't give up now! I know you, you'll figure out how to wing a trip and training.
ReplyDeleteFYI probably the weight gain is muscle gain! Seriously. Muscle weighs more than fat. I totally feel the same way, I eat worse on the days I exercise because I feel ohhhh I burned xxx calories I can eat... hmmm 2 candy bars! Bad I know!
Come on! What a bunch of hooey. The point is not to give up and to knock this thing off your list- to think that after all your focus on the physical part of this a little mental boredom and scheduling conflict threaten to keep ya down. pfft. And a capital PFFFFT.
ReplyDeleteJust remember your brain and your body sometimes leverage each other to get what they want. Mine does it constantly. Brain: "yeah, uh, the body called me and said it needs some protein, and the best vehicle for that is Cheddar..." or,
Body: "yeah brain told me it was tired and really wants a beer..."
Dont let your tricky little devil self fool you. Keep running.