Preparing for Portugal

Saturday, I'm leaving on a trip. I'm headed to Portugal with my parents to do what I love most--Explore the world! I LOVE to travel because fully engaging in another culture and soaking up the surroundings and subtle nuances of someplace halfway around the world from my own bed, makes me feel ALIVE and like I'm living my life to my fullest capacity. When I'm someplace new, trying to blend with the locals and learn, there's NOTHING on earth I'd rather be doing. Simple as that.

This trip comes at an interesting time because it is also during Week 1 of Marathon Training. I am thrilled to get to combine my love for travel with my developing love for running.

It will be a new travel challenge this time to find the time and the place to fit in running. I'm not worried. The weather this time of year in Portugal is beautiful (waivering between 60-85 degrees most of the time), and so I won't HAVE to do my running in the morning. I can do it whenever my parents are grabbing some rest.

I'm going to lug my Garmin all the way to Portugal because the idea of recording a course in Portugal is SOOOO exciting. I'll keep the rest of my gear to a minimum for the week.

Rick has promised to keep Bella training while I am away. He'll probably improvise by having her do some intense tennis ball chasing in the backyard as opposed to an official run, but I think that should be just fine.

Anyhow, just wanted to let you know where I'll be if you don't hear from me next week. I'll be training for a marathon, having the time of my life in Portugal! Don't worry, I'll take lots of pictures.

It's Almost Here!

This week, I feel like a runner. I feel like one of those people I've always wanted to be. One of those people who gets up early in the morning, leaves the house when it's dark, and runs while most other people are sleeping.

I have LOVED my running this week. I still feel daunted by the mileage. Sometimes, I wake up in the morning and panic a little bit when I think about the fact that I have to run 3 miles or so. That probably seems crazy, and once I do it, I realize it's not bad, but I still wake up and panic. I know the more mileage I get under my belt, the less I will feel this way. I'm just trying to achieve some consistent mileage this week so that I'm confident going into next week---it's marathon training time!!! It's almost here.

My invaluable reference book, Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer, is designed so that each chapter corresponds to a week of marathon training--from Week 1 to Week 16. The introductory chapter is the one that discusses the "preliminary training" that I've been doing for the past 3+ months. It feels great to know that starting next week, I can "officially" read the book, chapter by chapter, to correspond to my mileage and while I have most of the pages of the book memorized, I can review the content on a chapter by chapter basis and make sure I've really incorporated all of the "mental toughness" aspects that I will need for marathon day!


It's hard to believe I've made it through all of the preliminary training. It's hard to beleve all the weeks that have passed. So little and yet so much has changed.


What HASN'T changed:


My body. Not to beat the issue into the ground, but my body really hasn't changed. I keep waiting to at least feel like my LEGS look stronger, but honestly, they look the same. I look at them, and I KNOW they are stronger but they look the same as my lazy legs did before.


Bella's enthusiasm. I still get every bit as choked up each time Bella bounds toward the front door ready for her run. Her excitement for her training is so inspiring for me.


My resolve. My resolve to run a marathon. I still want it real bad.


My Diet Coke Habit. No doubt about the fact that I've been drinking less, but I still drink too much. At this point, I think ANY is too much ,so I feel the same guilt about ANY as I did about the A LOT before. By and large, I don't drink it in the morning. I ALWAYS have it at lunch. And these days when I drink it, I think about how soon my next run is and whether or not it will be affected. It's a work in progress.



What HAS changed:


My bedtime. I crash out about 8:30pm on the days that I've run. I'm the least socially stimulating companion in the evenings because after a long day of work and a run, I'm dead tired.


My anxiety level. When I run, I feel calm. Even when I feel stressed during the day, it's a different stressed. Like a stress ontop of a baseline of calm. It's kinda cool.


My body. As much as I complain about it not LOOKING different, my body IS different. My knees are stronger. Things that use to make them sore, I can now do without noticing a problem. When I go to yoga, it is no longer the hardest thing I have ever done to make it through a class. I get way less cardiovascularly tired which is AWESOME because then I just get to enjoy the stretching aspect of yoga.


The weather. It's finally cooling off. Yesterday morning when I was putting on my running shoes in the back yard, there was a breeze, and it was notably cool. I thought about the fact that as it gets cooler, I'm going to have to figure out what clothes to run in.


The Planning. Planning for how every aspect of my life is going to fit around my running schedule--from social obligations to trips to alcohol consumption to sleep. When I make plans, currently my running is the first think I think of. I think about running ALL of the time.

The Eleusiveness. I use to always feel like running was something I couldn't do. As I've described previously, I'd hear about people running and be in total awe. I couldn't relate to what they were able to do, no matter how much I admired it. The other day, I heard a patient talking with one of my co-workers about how she runs 10-20 miles a week. Before, I would have been in awe of this feat. This time, I just thought . . . . Me too!


I RUN. Oh, and I run now, not woggle.

I Have a Taker!!!!!

I've struggled to know how to write this entry for about a week now. I don't know how to adequately portray and describe something that happened last week without either over or underexaggerating it's impact on me.

Last Thursday, I was at work feeling sorry for myself because I was working on my day off. Sometimes, when I'm not loving my job, I obsessively check my Blackberry for any type of contact/inspiration from the outside world--a text, an email, a BBM. Anything to bring me hope. Some things are better than others. SPAM email--momentary hope. BBM--exciting inspiration from those closest to me. What I received was better than all of those things combined.

In between patients, I arrived at my pseudo-momentary resting place at the office to take a "mental" break between patients and found my Blackberry happily blinking it's cool red light indicating I had 1 text message and 12 emails. Eureka!!! I'd hit the motherload.

Upon examination of my inbox, I realized that all the messages were from my brother, Kevin.

Kevin, my amazing brother Kevin, has been running too!!!!!!!!!!! He has been secretly training with me and finally reached the point in the training where he revealed to me his plan. After each run, he had been recording his comments and thoughts about the run in a journal entry. He forwarded all of these entries to me in a lump with the instructions, "Start reading with Run 1" so that I'd know where to begin.

As soon as I saw the titles of the messages, I knew what it was. I had to wait until I was done with work to really read all the entries but knowing what they contained made me "float" through the rest of my non-day-off work day.

Why the secrecy? I think I'll let Kevin's explanation of this in his journal entry speak for itself:

"My sister is running the PF Changs rock and roll marathon in Jan of 2010, and I admire her dearly. She, like me, is not a natural runner and this will no doubt be the hardest thing she (and with any luck I) have done. When she announced she was doing this effort, I immediately wanted to join in the fun. But, knowing myself and the aforementioned medical weirdness, I really didn’t want to get some group momentum under way only to have to drop out at a later time. I’d feel like I was dragging down her resolve by failing ‘the group.’ Besides, part of this achievement that’s going to be important for her is to get it done by your own steely awesome resolve. Of which, mine is in serious question."

Kevin is running. Kevin is running. Kevin is running. And he's doing soooooo great! And now that I know, we've spent all week BBMing about our running and our motivation and our sore legs, and it is wonderful to have a companion.

And it's not just any companion . . . . it is a companion who is uber-similar to me in motivation, sometimes lack there of, struggles with healthy eating and most of all, our resolve to do this cause we've wanted it for so long. Kevin MAY want to run the half and not the full marathon depending on how his exercise-induced migraines are doing, but either way, I have someone to chat about running with!

If you look at my mileage from last week, you'll notice that it was NOT STELLAR. I had made it past the "What's the Point" hurdle, but I was still struggling to feel "great" due to my sciatica or whatever it was issue. And I can honestly say that after finding out Kevin is running too, I have a renewed sense of motivation, focus and even a little bit of healthy competition to help me along.

Kevin is a lot faster than me, so we won't be "actually" running together, but we have talked about being able to meet halfway on some of the long runs to come.

And like I said before, since I found out, I've felt FOCUSED and determined and really just a new resolve to do this! It couldn't have come at a better time. I am so thankful for his timing because I am getting ready to start OFFICIAL Week 1, and I feel great!

Thanks Kevin--I can't tell you how excited I am!

100 mile mark!

Today's run (see below) also marked another pretty cool milestone. If you look over at the right at my RunningAHEAD data, I crossed the 100 mile mark today!! I have been watching it get closer and closer and was happy to "blow it out of the water" with our 4 mile run!

100 miles. That is so far that even if I got in my car and drove it, I'd be bored with how far the drive was . . . and I woggled, walked and/or ran that far!

Just thought I'd share!

Saturday Long Run--My First Triathlon (sorta)

Ever have one of those days where you are just super pleased with the way your day went?

That was today for me.

Last night, Rick and I had dinner at Kevin and Ashley's. They suggested that we go mountain biking today and we JUMPED at the idea! However, in my mind, I was thinking about how sore my legs were after the last time we went riding and wondered how I'd ever have a good long run on Sunday with sore, fatigued legs.

So, in an amazing feat of self restraint, I barely had even one glass of wine last night and woke up this morning and set out with Bella to run the canal trail. I wanted to get my long run out of the way before the biking, so I could be fresh for the run.

I didn't get out there until close to 7am. The temperature was great but the sun was blazing. In my mind, I knew I really wanted to run 4 miles. During my first week of official training (which is rapidly approaching), my long run is 5 miles. I wanted to build my confidence that I'd have no trouble achieving that when the time rolls around.

I TOTALLY ran 4 miles this morning, and I couldn't be happier or more proud of myself!!

4 miles is a hefty chunk of running, and I can't believe how far I've come. Of course, it's still less than 1/6th of the marathon distance but . . . . . hey . . . . . today it felt like a lot.

I think the longest part of the run was the first mile. The first mile I was overwhelmed and daunted about thinking of how far I still had to run. (Of course that was all mental). Once I completed the first mile, I realized that I only had one more mile until I got to turn around and head back and the rest was easy (and fun) after that.

Bella was sooo tired by the end. I felt a little bad, but I know she was fine. She's probably never run 4 miles before either! I know she thought it was worth it. She's been getting lots of comments lately about her new "rock hard" physique, and she's loving the positive feedback. I think it is keeping her motivated to continue running. She really is a BARREL of muscle lately.

I returned home from our run to find Rick readying our bikes. I took a quick shower, and we headed out to Usery Mountain Regional Park for some mountain biking fun.

Kevin and Ashley had been riding there before, but it was a first for Rick and I. Our ride was HOT but beautiful! The sky was super blue and the desert landscape was pristine. Of the 4 of us, I'm the most timid about mountain biking, and the trails we rode today were so enjoyable because they weren't so challenging that I had to completely focus on the terrain and I was able to do a lot of looking around at the gorgeous landscape. I really enjoyed it, but by the end, I was ravenous and way too hot!! We rode Blevin and Moon Path Trail.

I completed the third leg of my triathlon today in an unconventional way. Feeling quite tired from a morning full of exercise, I walked two laps on the Baja step of the pool, mostly to cool my feet and calves. I know most people choose the freestyle stroke for their triathlon swim, but not me, not today!

The four of us finished out the afternoon with a bit of swimming, a DELICIOUS and well-earned Bloody Mary and an amazing feast of smoked pork ribs, prepared by Rick on his new Big Green Egg. It was a delicious dinner!

What a day! It felt so long and full, and tomorrow, when I roll over and sleep in instead of heading to the canal like I usually do on Sunday morning, I won't even have to feel any guilt!

We'll see if I can actually get out of bed at all. My legs may be too sore. . . .

It's Official!

Last night, I did something scary and amazing--I registered for the 2010 PF Chang's Rock and Roll Marathon!!

I REALLY like a good bargain, and Tuesday was the last day to register for only $100. Okay, granted the cost only went up $15 after Tuesday, but still, I have plenty of other running-related things to spend that $15 on.

It was exhilarating to register! The only tough part was when the registration asked me to estimate my marathon finish time. I became paralyzed, not knowing what to think. Do I guess low so I'm not stuck in the last coral? How much will I continue improving? It's just sooooo hard to know where I'll be at, pace-wise, come January. Luckily, with a little research, I discovered that I can change my estimated time (which helps determine where I start at the Starting Line) up to 6 weeks before the race (online) and the day before (at the Expo). No stress needed!

So, it's official, I'm registered to run the marathon . . . and I can't wait!!

Rick and I had actually already climbed in bed last night to watch the season premier of one of our favorite shows--The Biggest Loser--when I realized I still needed to register to meet the early registration deadline. We have watched every season of the show since it began. I just think the show is so inspiring, and we get REALLY into it!

In past seasons, I've been in various states of "shape" as I watch the show. Most seasons I've been as fat and inactive as ever. A few seasons I've been "on the wagon" with a healthy lifestyle. Obviously, the show is more fun to watch when I'm doing well with eating and exercising because I can feel a little more "holier-than-thou" about it all.

This year, I met the beginning of the show with mixed emotions. Obviously, I feel great about the exercise I've been getting. Not so great about the eating. So, we'll what The Biggest Loser brings this year.

Tuesday's show showed the contestants' first "challenge" which was walking/running 1 mile. This was an interesting one to relate to. On one hand, 6 months ago, I honestly think I would have felt like running that distance was insurmountable for me. It felt great to know that I was capable of running that far . . . and much further. I've never been able to say that before.

On the other hand, the first contestant to finish the challenge (who weighed 316 pounds) finished the mile in just short of 15 minutes. WOW. A Biggest Loser contestant in the FIRST week of the show ran a mile faster than I generally do. I was moderately humbled to realize this.

The thing is, I know I can run a mile in faster than 15 minutes. I've been fairly "pansy-like" about my pace because I haven't wanted to get injured or overexert myself and not be able to finish my mileage for the day. I do think that I have probably been too timid about my pace. I'll try to be more aware of that thanks to the efforts of the 316 pound kid on the show.

Equipment Update: Headphones, Future Water Needs and more

Music

In my previous post, I wrote about how I've been running more with music/ipod. This has created two new equipment dilemmas, both of them minor:

First of all, I need someplace to "stash" my ipod when I'm running. I DID buy an arm strap like this.

Honestly, I haven't even tried it yet. I WILL try it but my hesitation is that I feel like such a "tech" geek out there already with all of my gear strapped on and adding one more thing to my arm might just be too much. I DO have one running shirt that is sleeveless and has kind of a built in "shelf" which, in addition to my sport's bra which serves as the inner layer, this shelf is the outer layer, and I can tuck the ipod between the two layers. It doesn't make for easy access to my ipod, but I don't generally need to mess with it that much, so maybe it's no big deal. When I'm not wearing said sleeveless shirt, I've sometimes just tucked the ipod against my skin, which is admittedly gross, hence, my search for a better option. Yes, you can borrow my ipod anytime you'd like.

I'll try out the arm strap sometime too.

Second, finding comfortable headphones has been a big struggle for me. I started with a pair that look something like this.

Rick gave them to me as a gift more than 5 years ago. Let's just say that I haven't consistently exercised with them enough to REALLY put them to the test. Because of their design, by the end of my run, they were extremely painful on my ears. They just pushed in the wrong spot. (Best I can tell, they are called Nike Flight Sport Headphones).

The next type I tried are very popular right now called "ear-buds." These specific buds came highly recommended to me by a co-worker, and while they were light and comfortable, I absolutely couldn't tolerate the feeling of them being "suction-cupped" to the inside of my ears. Also, I like retaining the ability to hear a little bit of outside noise because I just think it's safer with traffic, Bella, etc., and the "suction" effect eliminated my ability to hear this outside noise. The other big problem was that I felt like they created a huge "pounding" sound every time I took a step, almost like a pounding headache would feel. Needless, to say, I've been exploring other options. Don't worry, thanks to the wonders of Big Lots, they only cost me $4.

As I considered my options, Rick suggested I try his old pair that look similar to those shown below. They are Sony brand, but they are old enough that I couldn't find an identical picture.
The aren't connected by a rigid connector like the Nike ones were and they are light and don't fit into my ear like the buds so I can still hear other noises. So far, they have been wonderful.

**Farris, which type are the worst for my ears?**

Water

On my 3 mile run last Sunday, it was the first day that I ran out of water right as I was completing my run. It got me to thinking about, especially with my long runs, with as long as it is taking me to complete the mileage, I'm really going to have to start looking into supplemental water supplies, whether it be another way to carry more water or to begin worrying about stashing water along my planned path prior to beginning my run. It seems like a lot of runners that I see out on the canal trail use this:






It would probably be lighter and more balanced than the larger one I tried using in the beginning, but . . . ugh, that would be ONE MORE THING to strap to my body. Seriously, that it makes me giggle to even think about how I'd be looking at that point.

PSYCH 101: Creating Your Own Reality

We human beings have a unique capacity to make our own reality. I am pretty sure that all other creatures are stuck with reality as it is, but we have the ability to imagine things as we wish them to be and, by a fascinating psychological twist, we then begin to behave as if that is really how things are. Sometimes that ability works to our advantage and sometimes it doesn't, but even that is within our power to determine.

Here is how it works. In the frontal lobes of our brains, we have the ability to make visual and auditory images of things that we want to happen in the future, or of things that we hope will not happen in the future, or even interpretations of things that are going on right now. If, when we make these images, we develop the belief that they will come to pass or are taking place the way we have imagined them, they influence our present and future behavior through creating expectations.

For example, if I fill my head full of images of myself running easily and effortlessly on my run, telling myself that I feel strong and powerful and can run forever, then if this theory holds true, then I will have a more enjoyable run than if my head is full of images of myself suffering and strainining and if I am saying to myself, "I am exhausted. I am dying." And supposedly, this will be true whether my body would have been feeling strong that day or not! That is, my state of mind creates a bodily reality!

This will be an important mental aspect that I will need to enlist as my training gets more intense. In light of recent frustrations, I got to thinking that, right now, it would probably come in helpful to enlist this "visualization of my reality" when it comes to my morning motivation and getting myself out the door. (Let's just say Dark Wednesday was not a singular event). If I can create a mental image of myself waking up, feeling energized and ready to face the day or at least the work-out then maybe I won't be relying quite so much on my waivering motivation.

As Kevin stated in his comment after my "What's the Point?" post, the brain sometimes tries to leverage the body to do other than what the body knows is best. If I can create a dialogue with myself for those moments where I waiver, maybe my body will win out.

Old Lady Alert. I really thought people only talked about their sciatic nerves when they were old or pregnant. It embarrases me greatly to type about this, but over the last six months, my left sciatic nerve "flares up" from time to time. Without researching a direct link, I am totally convinced that this is caused by overuse at work. Pressing the foot petal with my right foot causes a somewhat unnatural posture and tensing of my left leg/hip. Mostly, I just like to blame all of my problems on my job, and this situation is not going to be the exception.

Anyhoo, when it is inflamed, it makes me walk like a 100 year old man. Last week, I was afraid to run through the pain in fear of doing additional damage. By Sunday, it was feeling decent enough that I tried to run. Remember, if you've been following, that's the day I ran 3 glorious (or if you're Brad Pitt, "glourious" miles).

And now, in an attempt to link this disjointed post together, what I realized after my 3 mile run was that running makes the pain go away. I can't explain why. Everything reasonable to me thinks that "pounding" on an inflammed nerve would only serve to irritate it further. Therefore, since there is no reasonable explaination for this improvement, I'm going to assume that it is my BODY screaming loudly at me, "GO RUN!" It's kind of like a "reverse injury."

Last night after work, I could seriously hardly move I was in so much pain. When I woke up this morning, it was feeling slightly better, so before I could overexamine the issue, I put on my running shoes and headed out the door. Again, voila, the pain was gone.

I'd prefer to be spared the pain and just develop some intense motivation, but hey, whatever works!!

Exercise

These days, it is a commonly accepted notion that exercise is "good" and helps keep us healthy, maintain a healthy body weight and generally increase our lifespan.

I recently read this article in Time magazine which I think was the start of my "why bother" phase. It raises a lot of interesting points. I wanted to share it just to lend SOME justification to why I've been feeling a dramatic drop in motivation.

In under a minute of researching the Time article, I found this article in Runner's World referencing an even more detailed article which somewhat refutes the Time article. Therefore . . . I still ran this morning (and yes, it's even Thursday, my revered day off). Bella and I slept in a little bit. We hit the streets at 6:45am. That's the latest we've ever left for our run! I was dripping sweat by the end, but it wasn't that bad. If I had never done Bikram yoga, I might have been bothered by the dripping sweat, but it was old news to me!

What's the Point?

Sunday, I did my longest run yet, 3 miles! It was a great run.

Today, I had a "what's the point?" day and didn't get up and run. What's the point of dragging myself out of bed? What's the point of doing all this training?

Here are some of the thoughts I've been struggling with lately:

• If anything, I've gained weight as I've been training and that feels horrible. It could be because I feel "entitled" to eat more because I'm exercising (which is ridiculous because I'm probably burning less than 400 calories per run), or it could be that I've felt hungrier because of the additional exercise. Either way, it really sucks to feel like I'm doing something so great for myself but feeling worse about my body.


• We're looking to take a trip over the Christmas holiday and that is, of course, the time in which my two crucial long runs are (18 miles). I don't want to get to that point and have it all ruined by a trip. There's a decent chance that I can fit in some running on the trip, but 18 miles may not be reasonable. On the flip side, I don't want to NOT take a trip just because I'm training.


• The "thrill" of training/blogging may be wearing off.
  

The thing is, when I get out there and run, as I did on Sunday, it's amazing and I have so much clarity. I'm just struggling with motivation and feeling like "why bother?"

Just a little early morning vent.