Why Am I So Tired?

This last week (one of the BIG, high mileage weeks of training), all four of my runs can be summed up in one word. Crappy.

The Monday after Tucson, I knew I was feeling "run down." I just assummed that my "high" mileage week before the race and then the super windy race to boot, had left me more tired than usual. I also wonder if maybe the fact that I sat in the hottub only a few hours after the race (usually I wait a few days and stick to ice in the first 24 hours) had anything to do with my sore, energyless state that resulted.

Every day that I was SUPPOSED to run during the week, I got up and got out the door. And each time I WALKED instead of ran approximately 2-3 miles (instead of 5 and 8 and 5 miles like I was scheduled to). Unfortunately, a good deal of my problem was MENTAL. I was just REALLY burned out. And failing at one day's run made it that much easier to fail at the next day. I was so beside myself and depressed all week.

What kind of loser trains for 6 months (fairly consistently) only to lose her motivation in the second to last week before the taper??? That would be me.

Needless to say, by the time I set out to do my 18 mile long run on Sunday, I went into the run feeling defeated. I totally psyched myself out about how far 18 miles was and also about what monumentally bad impact my bad training week would have on my marathon performance. Early in the run, I was already talking myself out of finishing. Early in the run, I was already thinking about what I was going to go do instead of running. I started the run super late in the morning because I couldn't get myself out of bed because I was dreading the run so much (which only made things worse because I felt the rest of my day slipping away as I ran).

The long run could have been worse, under the above circumstances, but I still consider it a failure because I walked A LOT. I got the mileage done but not in any pretty way or in any way that I feel like will help my cause in the marathon. Certainly not in a way that I feel helped build me up mentally for the marathon.

I know it is okay to have a less than stellar week of running sometimes, I just think that my timing was really, really poor and quite possibly could jeapordize my training from here on out.

I'm burnt out and not feeling that passion for "marathon day" that I've come to rely on to get me out of these spots. (Hence, the lack of blogging as well).